The Gaza Mission Parrt Deux : Preamble
2 months ago
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Soul mate...
TV freak...that's what I am...so a week ago I watched 'Sex in the City' for the gazillionth time. It came to one scene where the four ladies were talking about soul mates...or lacking of soul mates. And I liked Charlotte's response to Carrie's sadness in not having a soul mate:
Carrie: No, I know I have you guys. I hate myself a little for saying this but… it felt really sad not to have a man in my life who cares about me. No special guy to wish me happy birthday. No goddamn soul mate… and I don’t even know if I believe in soul mates.
Charlotte: Don’t laugh at me but maybe we could be each others' soul mates. And then we could let men be just these great nice guys to have fun with.
Samantha: Wow, that sounds like a plan.
Carrie: I’m thirty-five, thirty-five is not twenty-five.
Miranda: Thank, god!
Samantha: Oh, Shut the fuck up, I’m a hundred and forty.
It amazes me how it reflects my real life. The conversations that I have with my girlfriends are always about finding the right man. But what if that particular moment has passed? And when I say that, people think that I've given up. The thing is, it's not about giving up...it's just that I go through my daily life as it is. I don't really search because I don't know what to search for. I mean, I've got ideals but at the same time I know that ideals don't exist. People are people and wanting to change them to be your ideal is not going to work. People don't change. I'm also surrounded by people who can't seem to help themselves to wish for my wedded bliss. I thank you for caring. I have friends who are happily married and I also have friends who are seriously sinking into a deep hole even with a man in their lives. So will I get married...I don't know. Do I wish it? At times I do but at times I don't. But do you know what I really want...a baby. ^_^ That's for another entry.
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6 comments:
i hope you categorized me as one of your friends who are happily married... hehe... cause I really am.
You may think that idealism is dead... think again.
getting married was the best thing that happened to me.
i forgot to add, getting your own children are best-est (if there is such a word) thing to happen after getting married (and the process too... hahah). sorry the 18x. :p
seeing them grow and nurturing them... i just cannot describe them in words.
everyday i come home from work, i really look forward to my kids to scream at me at the door "Yayy! abah dah balik."
Then i spend the next hour (usually) letting my kids clamber on my back for a horsie ride. they and i love it!
Azad: You are categorized as happily married. If I talk to friends who are having problems with their marital life, I usually give you as an example. It keeps me from being to cynical about marriage but at the same time I can't agree that idealism is alive for me. But for someone else, I'm sure it is in existence. Different people go through different situations in life. This is my challenge. I haven't lost faith yet, it's just hidden for now in a box, in an attic and covered with cobwebs...^_^.
I just met an old friend who is on the brink of divorce... going to court now. When I dissect to the root, I always find these fundamentals unfulfilled... Rukun Islam. Solat tunggang langgang, zakat tak bayar, duit banyak tapi tak pergi haji... ini semua wajib, tapi neglect. When one neglects their responsibilities as a slave of Allah, Allah will neglect you - simple.
Nasihat untuk suami dan isteri that is worthwhile, I find... setiap hari, do not miss solat jemaah at least once - suami mengimami isteri. Suami must lead this kewajipan... jangan solat sorang2 aje. This reinforces the relationship and Allah loves this.
Next advice, kalau ada bibit2 nak gaduh, selesai cepat2, minta maaf and promise not to repeat again... this sounds so basic and kindergarten-school advice, right? Right... but ask all these adults that have degrees/masters/phds if they do this? No. They left the problem unresolved and fester to become cancers in their relationship. Lepas tu, masalah kecik sikit in the future terus meletup atomic bomb style, because of the pent-up pain continuously piled on top of another.
Relationships between spouses need nurturing too. Start with fulfilling the fundamentals of Islam, Allah will help you with the rest.
Last, doa banyak2 minta Allah lindungi perkahwinan dan keluarga.
Semoga berjaya cari joodoh, Nurleena. Insya Allah. :)
Hey Azad: kindergarten kids seem wiser than adults...so I agree with you. It makes people like me more cynical when you observe people who behave so childishly when dealing with marital issues. They seem to forget that the consequences of their actions have the greatest impact on children. They are the ones that will be scarred for life. I've told that to a friend previously and her statement was I'm pro-marriage regardless. I was taken aback because I do believe that divorce is an option provided that discussions have been done by both parties. Well that's life isn't? ^_^
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