The word cancer has brought a new meaning to my life. I always hear it happening to others and thinking that it will never cross my path...that I would be one of the lucky ones to not be dealing with it myself. Then suddenly my world literally came crashing down. My beloved mother was diagnosed with having papillary adenocarcinoma on the 19th of November 2004. This cancer is a rare form of lung cancer. I have been having a tough time just dealing with the diagnosis itself. It still has not sink in yet. There are days when I feel confident about fighting it...that we will be successful in getting rid of this horrible disease that is ravaging my mom. And yet there are days when I feel afraid...afraid of losing my mother whom I selfishly is unable to live without. When facing her, I am the strongest daughter there is...showing a positive outlook and keeping the spirit up. But when night comes, the fear suffocates me that I am terrified of sleeping. I feel that she is just going to disappear on me and I will be alone. I am not ready to be without her...nobody is really ever ready to be without their mothers. I have to remind myself that this is God's will and that He is testing my family's faith in Him. Religion has brought peace when days are dark and stormy. Family and friends have provided emotional support when needed. Only Allah will be able to repay their kindness.
Under the light of a thousand stars
2 weeks ago