Baby, it's all good!

What do you see when you look at me

Do you see someone limited, or someone free

All some people can do is just look and stare

Simply because they can't see my hair

Others think I am controlled and uneducated

They think that I am limited and un-liberated

They are so thankful that they are not me

Because they would like to remain 'free'

Well free isn't exactly the word I would've used

Describing women who are cheated on and abused

They think that I do not have opinions or voice

They think that being hooded isn't my choice

They think that the hood makes me look caged

That my husband or dad are totally outraged

All they can do is look at me in fear

And in my eye there is a tear

Not because I have been stared at or made fun of

But because people are ignoring the

One up above

On the day of judgment they will be the fools

Because they were too ashamed to play by their own rules

Maybe the guys won't think I am a cutie

But at least I am filled with more inner beauty

See I have declined from being a guy's toy

Because I won't let myself be controlled by a boy

Real men are able to appreciate my mind

And aren't busy looking at my behind

Hooded girls are the ones really helping the Muslim cause

The role that we play definitely deserves applause

I will be recognized because I am smart and bright

And because some people are inspired by my sight

The smart ones are attracted by my tranquility

In the back of their mind they wish they were me

We have the strength to do what we think is right

Even if it means putting up a life long fight

You see we are not controlled by a mini skirt and tight shirt

We are given only respect, and never treated like dirt

So you see, we are the ones that are free and liberated

We are not the ones that are sexually terrorized and violated

We are the ones that are free and pure

We're free of STD's that have no cure

So when people ask you how you feel about the hood

Just sum it up by saying, 'Baby its all good'

Author unknown

Hijab

Someone asked me why do I wear a hijab...

"And say to the believing women that they should restrain their eyes, and guard their modesty (virtue), and that they display not their ornaments except what appears of them. And that they draw their veils over their bosoms and display not their ornaments except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husbands fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sister's sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male domestics who have no natural sexual force, or children who know nothing of women's nakedness. And let them not strike their feet together so as to reveal their hidden ornaments. And repent you all to Allah, O you believers, that you may succeed." [24:31]

I wear because it is required by religion to do so. I do not question it because I truly see the beauty and logic in it. But please also keep in mind that the hijab itself does not symbolizes 'alimness'. 'Alimness' is between you and Allah. But there is a tendency for people to equate a person wearing a hijab and doing horrible deeds as a symbol of Islam. We have ourselves to blame for that as we forget that when we do wear the hijab, our actions should represent what we believe in, Allah, thus our religion Islam. So we should care about what we do as people will continuously see the hijab as representation of Islam. Do I do my best to do what is necessary? That is a question I will continue to ask myself as long as I am allowed time here on earth.

Suffering...

I was watching Beyond Borders a few nights ago. I was hit very hard with the images of suffering and those images are not even the raw footage of what is really going on as it has gone through the Hollywood process. But even then I got really sad thinking about the people that are suffering...Especially children. I get hungry and thirsty during Ramadhan but at the end of the day I get to pick and choose from the many delicacies available to break my fast. People at these places call hell on earth do not have that choice. And I think to myself, what have I contributed as a person part of a society that is stable. Yeah I give money to foundations that I believe in but what do I really do as in to physically help? I should be volunteering to go to these hot zones like when Indonesia was hit by the tsunami. What stopped me? I do not have the responsibility of a marriage...no husband...no children...I should go. What stopped me was work...I cannot just pick a bag and leave as there is no way my institution would just allow me to take a 3 week leave to do volunteer work. Sounds like an excuse but it happens to be a solid one. So I have made up my mind to find a way to not work for people but to be my own boss in a few years time. Do I have the guts?? I do not know for sure...there's a lot of planning involved and not to forget the financial part. But at least then I have the freedom to do some of the things I plan. Some might say it's naive for me to even consider but I guess this is one experience I have to learn on my own. So even if I fall, I can get up with pride because at least I tried.

Amigos para siempre...

Friendship is one of the best relationship a person can have (of course this comes from a person with no love life - but try to have an open mind). I do not have many female friends but the few that I have I treasure beyond priceless material things (seriously - not trying to sound cliche-ish). Two of my best friends, Monster and Pink Lady, and I have been been through the toughest parts of our lives together since teenagers eventhough at times we were not there physically but only in thought. We've been through breakups, hookups, wedding, births, death and even dissatisfaction among the three (sporadic communication for two years) and yet I have always had them in my mind and we always come back to each other. I don't have sisters, so these two would be the closest I get to ever finding out what sisters might feel like. Pink Lady's children are like my own especially Princess. What I treasure the most is that we never feel the need to sugar coat our words as we felt that the truth is more valuable than trying to protect each other. Only those that really care for you are willing to face the storm when confronted with truth. I guess this is especially true for me because it is in my nature that I am often blunt and sarcastic (so like House). But that also means my friends are able to tell me truths that I need to hear (especially those that you really don't want to hear). I hope that our friendship will remain true forever. Monster and Pink Lady...lots of love and hugs!!!

Empty Hearts

Renaksi & Eseret...my fantasy.

Oscar Wilde

Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde - author, conversationalist, poet, critic and gay. He is eccentric and flamboyant, often at odds with the pompous society that surrounded him. Many a things were said about his extravagant and unconventional behaviour but to ignore his masterpiece is a fallacy that appeals to a person (my TSK students would know this ;-)). Here are some of his wicked wit (taken from 'The wicked wit of Oscar Wilde"):

The bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.

De Profundis

I would not have about me shallow fools,

Who with mean scruples weigh the gold of life,

And faltering, paltering, end by failure.

The Duchess of Padua

We all take such pains to over-educate ourselves. In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have something that endures, and so fill our minds with rubbish and facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place.

The Picture of Dorian Gray

(I of course don't agree to that but he just put is so eloquently that I had to put it in)

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

The Picture of Dorian Gray

Men become old, but they never become good.

A Woman of No Importance

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the two sexes.

The Ideal Husband

I hate vulgar realism in literature. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.

The Picture of Dorian Gray

Ramadhan

It is time again for the holy month of Ramadhan...the time when a Muslim is obligated to fast as to purify his or her soul, refocus (if it wasn't focused before) his or her attention to Allah and sacrifice comforts in life to appreciate what you have and be grateful for it (to become aware of the plight of the poor and needy). The fulfillment of the required obligations (not just fasting but terawih, the reading of the Quran and so on) are rewarded 70 times more than usual reward (fasting is one of the 5 pillars of Islam).

The reason why the month of Ramadhan is so important is because it was the night that the holy book Al-Quran was sent down from the 7th level of Heaven to the 1st level from where it was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) in piecemeal basis over a period of 23 years. Al-Quran is a record of the exact words revealed by God through the Angel Gabriel to the Prophet Muhammad. It was memorized by Muhammad and then dictated to his Companions, and written down by scribes, who cross-checked it during his lifetime. Not one word of its 114 chapters, Suras, has been changed over the centuries, so that the Quran is in every detail the unique and miraculous text which was revealed to Muhammad fourteen centuries ago. Al-Quran is also the prime source of every Muslim's faith and practice. It deals with all the subjects which concern us as human beings: wisdom, doctrine, worship, and law, but its basic theme is the relationship between God and His creatures. At the same time it provides guidelines for a just society, proper human conduct and an equitable economic system. But Muslims need to remember to not just read to Al-Quran but to also understand it.

2:185 - "Ramadhan is the (month) in which was sent down the Qur'an, as a guide to mankind, also clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment (Between right and wrong). So every one of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spend it in fasting, but if any one is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed period (Should be made up) by days later. Allah intends every facility for you; He does not want to put to difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period, and to glorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be grateful."

Writing this entry was also a reminder to me to do the necessary for this holy month. The information above was directly taken from http://www.islamicity.com as I did not want to paraphrase and get it wrong.

Selamat Berpuasa to all my Muslim friends and for those friends who are not, enjoy the food galore at the bazaars.

Lame...

Previous posts - indication of what boredom can do to a person...came back from Miami Vice (lame movie)...couldn't sleep...surfed the net...answered stupid blog quizzes...and ta-da...silly entries.

How logical am I?

You Are Pretty Logical

You're a bit of a wizard when it comes to logicWhile you don't have perfect logic, you logic is pretty darn goodKeep at it - you've got a lot of natural talent in this area!

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howlogicalareyouquiz/">How Logical Are You?

How evil am I?

You Are 42% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/">How Evil Are You?

How normal am I?

You Are 50% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal...Other things you do are downright strangeYou've got a little of your freak going onBut you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/hownormalareyouquiz/">How Normal Are You?

What kind of blogger am I?

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary.If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofbloggerareyouquiz/">What Kind of Blogger Are You?

How am I in love?

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howareyouinlovequiz/">How Are You In Love?

Sri Lankan dinner part 2

The Sri Lankan dinner was so delicious. And I, in the midst of all the excitement of an all female uni mate dinner, forgot to take pictures of the food and the people (which I planned in advance…sigh). So that leaves me only one choice...to describe the people and the food which would not be the same. Let me start with a brief description of the people involved in this wonderful dinner get together. Most important of course were the hosts, Shamara and her wonderful sister Kamuthu (chef extraordinaire). They are from Sri Lanka, and of course Shamara is an A star uni mate whereas Kamuthu is an expatriate (her husband is currently working in Malaysia). They live in Bangsar. Next would be Emmy, my partner in crime in uni, whose job is to keep me walking in a continuous straight line. Then there’s the ever classy Rose, who looked superb that night as usual. Emmy and I met her in one of the many elective classes that we took. Then there’s Amelia, Emmy and I met her for the first time that night. She is Shamara's and Rose’s classmate.

Why would I put this dinner event in my blog? Well let me put it this way, it is one of those rare nights where a group of women from various backgrounds (such as being married, with children, single, young and middle aged) all met up to enjoy a wonderful dinner and talk about everything under the sun. It was a nice night to just sit and enjoy each other’s company. Emmy and I arrived on time at about 6.30 pm. The rest got there close to 7 pm. We had drinks and talked for awhile (about uni matters no less). Then we started dinner around 7.30 pm. The food was great (as in I could do those ‘travel and living’ shows and describe the food as one of the best meal I had). Kamuthu served us chicken beriani where the chicken was soooo tender and the spices just nice, prawn curry where the prawn is not over cooked, grilled potatoes with sautéed onions, spices and dried fish, and lastly the cubed salad with fresh yogurt. I mean some people might say “So what? We have beriani here in Malaysia. What’s so great about what you had?” True I suppose but what made this worth mentioning is because it was done to perfection. All the flavors just came together to create this unforgettable taste that blew us or me away. After seconds (couldn’t help myself – not disciplined enough), it was dessert…orange soufflé without the crème. Now here I was thinking without the crème the soufflé wouldn’t be so nice…was I so wrong. The orange soufflé was so tangy and sweet that a spoonful in your mouth was like a burst of 10 oranges. I mean I am seriously not exaggerating, Emmy, who does not have the required taste bud for sweet things, said that it was delicious. I was also appreciative that they remembered that some of us don’t take alcohol because the soufflé should have had some Grand Marnier in it. But even without the Grand Marnier it was soooooo delicious. Personal friends would know that I need to get on a diet and exercise but that night I couldn’t care less about getting thinner as I also had a second serving of the soufflé.

All in all it was an unforgettable night. Emmy and I plan to take Shamara out to dinner as a token of appreciation for cooking a splendid meal. It has to be soon as Shamara will leave for Sri Lanka soon. Hmmmm…a trip to Sri Lanka might be interesting… ;-).

Sri Lankan dinner

I will be having dinner with Emmy at Shamara's place in Bangsar tonight. She will cook an authentic Sri Lankan meal (I bet it will be spicy...I will soooo sweat)...Can't wait to see her and hang out with Emmy...It's been awhile... ;-)

Change

You want to change something so badly to suit your needs but in the end you realize that you can't...because you can't be selfish and impose your ideas on people who don't want it or need it. Sucks...

Major events...

Since my last entry, I have faced life changing events in my life which has completely changed the normalcy that I am used to. Ever since my mother passed on, life has been different, filled with new experiences and challenges. The first event was of course my 30th birthday. Who would of thought that a particular day that changes the number of your age from being in your twenties to your thirties to be such an emotional day. I was ecstatic of course...I mean who does not like birthdays...presents and wishes are one of the nicest things you can receive from people that you care about (Monster and Pinklady - thanks for a memorable night - let's grow old together)...this is especially sweet when you're a teacher and your students sang outloud in class, called all the way from New Zealand and Australia, presents that you know people took effort in giving (my Totoro tissue cover, Jen's purple creation etc)...it's a beautiful feeling. Yet there is a tinge of sadness because I can't share it with my late mother.

Since I am on the topic of my mother I shall proceed to talk about my next life altering event...my father's pending marriage. Today was the 'merisik' and engagement of my future stepmother to my father. Who would've thought that I'd be putting the ring on the finger of a lady that will replace the place of my mother in our lives. Don't get me wrong...my siblings and I are supportive towards my father's second marriage...he needs companionship...we just feel that it really closes the chapter of my mother's life (there's a sense of finality to it). I use the word 'we' because we are collectively in agreement about it. I have met my future stepmother whom I will address as Mama Intan and alhamdulillah she is a nice and friendly lady...my siblings and I hope that our relationship will continue to grow in a positive way. My father's wedding date will be on November 4th, 2006 almost a year and four months after my mother's death. I am truly blessed as my mother in her wisdom saw the need to clarify to me during the days of her illness of the possibility of my father remarrying after she passed on. She reminded me, "When mama is gone, my life chapter in this world is complete, I don't want you to mourn me but rather I would prefer you to pray for me. You and your brothers are not to create trouble if your father wants to remarry as it is his right and need to do so. Your father has been here for me through thick and thin, he will need support once I am gone and later on he will need companionship that you will not be able to provide. Support him and be there for him as he has been there for you and your brothers." Those few simple words kept my head sane during the process of my father finding a new wife and it also provided a sense of peace as she had given us the green light (I did not want to feel as if I betrayed her in some way so her words absolved me from the guilt).

I also have to give credit to my father who has never kept anything from me or my siblings. In whatever decisions he made he always discussed it with us. So we never felt left out or hurt. I will always be thankful to God for giving me my parents. I hope my mother's soul is blessed by Allah and I hope that my father's second marriage is also blessed by Allah as our happiness is dependent on His blessings. Now I am hoping that my life will also be blessed...soon...;-)! Till next time...adios!

Understanding why...

Took from a blog I came across...

If you have the time...

Here's a Quiz for You on QuizYourFriends.com
CLICK on the link below or PASTE it into your browser.http://www.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=060810041239-684237&

Curve ball...

I hate it when life throws me a curve ball that I can't handle...It just swings by at such high speed that when it hits me...wham! I am done for...sigh [I need to be emotionless for awhile].